Turn Ons that I Might or Mightn't Do

I was having a conversation with a friend who mentioned something about anal sex and somehow we got onto the topic of Sarah Palin and anal sex and I found myself getting aroused. Hm. So, my friend said (yes, I told him that this was happening), so you'd have anal sex with Sarah Palin? And I said, "NO WAY, but that doesn't mean that it doesn't turn me on." So... I figured I'd explore things that turn me on that I would or wouldn't engage in personally.

Turn On-Fantasy / Will do or Participate in?

*Anal Sex with Sarah Palin / Nope.
*Vaginal Sex with Sarah Palin / Possibly, if she doesn't moan in that nasal tone.
*Glass Dildos / Absolutely
*Waterfalls / Yes Yes Yes!
*Gay Men making love / No. (Just no real place for me there, you know?)
*Having sex with a cop who's pulled me over for speeding. / ??? (nothing to do with getting/not getting the ticket)
*Having sex with another driver who's nodded for us to get off at the next rest stop / No!
*Red Honda Del Sol Convertibles / No room to fuck -- unless the top were down...
*Sofia Coppola in Godfather 3 trying to get Al Pacino's forgiveness / Not interested in the Mafia.

and, by the way, with all respect to Ms. Coppola for her film direction, she turned in a very difficult-to-watch performance in that movie. And it STILL got me. Amazing.

*Public Sex / Yes. Sorta depends on the public, though. Like at a Gala or Ballroom Affair.
*Sex in the water, pool, jacuzzi / No.
*Sex on the kitchen floor / Yes. As long as it's been cleaned.
*Sex with a stranger - Met on a Subway, An Audition, A Waiting Room / Nope.
*June Cleaver / Nope.
*Nancy McKeon / Nope.
*Valerie Bertinelli / Yes!
*John Hughes Films / Yes. I mean, if that were possible.
*Reese Witherspoon / Uh-uh.
*Rose petals / Yes -- a bed covered in rose petals -- yes
*On a stage with no audience / Yes! yes!
*iPhones / Nope. Don't want those radiowaves inside me.
*Cigarette Packs (before they're de-celophaned) / Nope.
*The turning of a lined piece of paper that's been written on with ball point pen / If I could...
*Sideways Glances / Yes!
*Eddie Izzard / No.
*Eddie Murphy / Yes.
*Eddie Vetter / Yes.
*Edward R. Murrow / Yes.
*David Strathairn playing Edward R. Murrow / Yes.
*Edie Brickell / Yes.
*Snakes / No. No. No.
*Alanis Morrisette / Yes.
*Ani DiFranco / Do I really have to even answer this?
*Annie Lennox / Yes.
*Michelle N'degeocello / YES YES YES~
*Queen Latifah / Yes!
*Cellos / The players...yes. Not the male ones. Jacqueline DuPre over Yo-Yo Ma anyday.
*Me. / Yes.

:-) Make your own lists and share 'em.

Peace,

Pandora

Gravestone Musings

If I were to have a gravestone, I'd want something that really expressed something about my essence. I've studied a lot of gravestones - I'm fascinated by how people boil down their lives. Mostly, they boil them down to their relationships with other people in their lives or they have a short quote from the bible. I haven't been to a Buddhist cemetary --- that's a new one on me --- I should definitely check that out. In any case there are two problems with what I want on my gravestone -- the first is that I want something that totally gives the person reading it a sense of who I am or...was... and then second problem is that I don't want to be buried so where the Fuck is the gravestone going to go? In any case, left to the conventionalists, my gravestone may read something like:

Pandora Scooter: Daughter, Mother, Grandmother. 1971 - 2076
(I'm being very optomistic...I missed out on the bicentennial - I really want to make it to the tricentennial - seriously.)

But, if I had a limited number of characters - which I imagine it must cost a pretty penny (funny phrase) to have a gravestone or placemarker (if it's made out of bronze of something) carved -- it might read something like:

Pandora Scooter: Kick-Ass Mom and All Round Awesome Human Being. 1971-2076.
(If I keep typing "2076" maybe it'll come true... :-)... a girl can hope, right?)

But, if I had loads of money...hmmmm... like if anything was possible.... anything at all... Where and what would I want for a marker to commemorate my life?

It seems so impossible a question to answer.

I'd like a chip inserted into everyone's mind so that they have some reference for me and that I am missed by everyone. I mean everyone. Every. One.

But that's over the top, even for me. And, the next closest to thing to that would be to achieve the kind of fame and impact that Michael Jackson or JFK or Diana achieved. And, while anything is possible, it's also quite possible that that won't happen.

So, then I feel like maybe a marker, if I had to choose a place right now, would have to be in a place that means something to me. There's a stage - wooden stage - in the middle of a forest in Danbury, CT where I first felt the immense power of myself on stage. I could see my ashes being strewn around that stage and a marker being placed there. And, because it's at a camp, I'd probably want something inspiring to kids to be written on my marker something like:

Pandora Scooter learned the power of her presence in this forest. She wishes each person who steps on the stage to experience their power and achieve centeredness. 1971-2076.

Or maybe something a bit more poetic.

But really...my dream...is to have founded an arts-space by the time I die -- sometime in my 60s or 70s and have my plaque there. Dedicate myself to making space for others. Similar to the way that there a little alcove dedicated to Mr. Smithson who founded the Smithsonian in "The Castle" - the administrative building of the Smithsonian. I've always loved that alcove. It's so peaceful and well placed. And accessible.

Well, I guess I better get on creating that arts space, huh? :-)

Dreams are meant to sweeten life...not be beaten down.

Pandora Scooter: Power to the Peaceful and Love to All -- 2009.

Turn that Smile Upside Down

I smown or frile or something that means, I smile with a frown. I realized this a year or two ago when I became aware of my face. How crazy is that concept? Apparently, for years I had gone along completely out of touch with the expressions I created throughout the day. And one of them that I completely missed was the response I had to strangers and sometimes people I knew upon seeing them. I would turn down the corners of my mouth while executing a subtle nod. Sort of like the stereo-typical Deniro mug that reads something like, “Not bad, kid.”

I think I actually became aware of it when I noticed that I was greeting more and more people as I was becoming more open in general and that people weren’t smiling back. And rather than chalk it up to “People suck.” I actually delved into what I may be doing to discourage a more welcoming response. That’s when I became aware of my face.

My expressions are rather…extreme. Eyebrows raise into my hair line, eyes open wide like saucers (where did that phrase come from?). Lips poke out as if I’m doing some kind of “kissie, kissie” expression – but actually, this is my “thinking” face. Nostrils flare. Cheeks fill with air. (And this is all during the course of a typical exchange between me and the cashier at the corner deli.)

And, apparently, I frown when greeting people.

Today, at least a year (probably more) since I realized this, I still have trouble actually turning the corners of my mouth upwards upon making eye contact with people. Not people I know I’m meeting. People who are passer-bys.

When I succeed, at least 75% of the time, I get a smile (these people know how to smile) in response. Sometimes a head-nod. Sometimes an actually greeting, like “Hey” or “Hi there.”

This may seem like a lot of thought put into how I make contact with people who have no idea who I am and who will completely forget my existence as soon as I pass by, but I think this is important because a true smile shared between two people can turn a grumpy, crummy day into an ok, or even a good, or even, a great! day.

So, I’m learning to smile.